The Enneagram and Parenting: How One Mom of 7 Uses It to Raise Emotionally Aware Kids

Episode #25: Enneagram & Parenting with Victoria
Listen now on Towards Eden, An Enneagram Podcast

Parenting is hard. Parenting with intention, awareness, and emotional wisdom? Even harder. That’s exactly why I sat down with Victoria—mom of seven and deep-feeling Type Four—to talk about how she uses the Enneagram as a parenting tool inside her big, busy, beautiful family.

Whether you're new to the Enneagram or you’ve already typed your whole extended family (twice), this episode brings real-life insight into how this tool can shift family dynamics, deepen connection, and help you parent each child more uniquely and compassionately.

Go to the Episode

Meet Victoria: A Type Four Mom Navigating the Complexities of Family Life

Victoria first discovered the Enneagram during a season of grief in her twenties. Like many of us, she came to the tool looking for clarity and healing. She quickly recognized herself as a Type Four—introspective, emotionally rich, and seeking authenticity—and began using the Enneagram to understand herself more deeply.

But what makes Victoria’s story special is how she brought the Enneagram into her marriage and parenting, especially as the mom of seven kids, each with their own budding personalities and emotional needs.

The Enneagram in Action: Parenting Each Child Differently

One of the most powerful themes in this episode is the importance of individualized parenting. Victoria shares what it’s like parenting a daughter who leans toward Type Nine (the Peacemaker / The Peacekeeper) and a son who shows strong Type One (the Perfectionist / The Improver) tendencies—and how knowing their Enneagram types helps her meet their emotional needs with more empathy and intention.

We also talk about how one of her younger kids, who seems very Type Seven (the Enthusiast / The Optimist), is already showing patterns of avoiding hard emotions. Instead of getting frustrated, Victoria uses this insight to gently teach him how to name his feelings—something she’s still learning herself.

The Type Four + Type Eight Parenting Duo

Victoria and her husband (a classic Type Eight / The Challenger) offer a compelling example of how two very different Enneagram types can partner in parenting. She brings emotional depth and curiosity; he brings strength, energy, and a steady presence. Together, they’re learning how to balance their instincts and show up for their family in complementary ways.

As she puts it, “Our goal isn’t to raise perfect kids—it’s to raise kids who know themselves, who can handle hard emotions, and who feel deeply loved for who they are.”

The Enneagram as a Gentle, Flexible Tool

Throughout the episode, we emphasize that the Enneagram isn’t a box. It’s not about labeling kids or getting it exactly right. It’s about approaching family life with more curiosity, compassion, and awareness.

Victoria talks about holding the Enneagram lightly—using it to better understand herself and her people, but not clinging to it as the only truth. It’s this balance that makes her story so relatable and so powerful for parents at any stage.

If You’re a Parent Curious About the Enneagram…

This episode is for you.

You’ll walk away with:

Insight into how the Enneagram shows up in everyday family life
Real examples of parenting different types with empathy
Encouragement to use the Enneagram as a flexible, grace-filled tool
A peek into how Type Four moms and Type Eight dads can complement each other
Practical ideas for parenting kids who avoid emotions or struggle with perfectionism

🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
🌀 And don’t forget to subscribe to Towards Eden for more episodes on using the Enneagram for personal growth and deeper relationships.